Friday, February 26, 2010
So yeah, life has been kinda crappy. I've mainly been hiding it for a while just cuz I didn't want to face it... but now I've began to look the monster in the face, and started fighting it...
Okay, so what I mean is that it seems everything is falling apart. My marrige isn't all that great right now. I'm praying that this is just a rough patch....Like every marrige has. But I'm scared it's the last chance I have to try to hold my family together. You see, the hubby and I got into a huge argument that led to an evening of hell, tears, & confusion & then turned quickly to a long night of discussions, plans, & (for lack of being able to think of a better word) consequences.
We figured out the main issues in our marrige. He feels as though he has too much weight on his shoulders and I feel as though I get nothing (relationship wise) from him..
For the past few days things have been going somewhat better. He's been more loving and I've been applying for jobs. He's also been helping me around the house & I've been trying to take more interest in his hobbies.
However I've decided that if worst comes to worst...I want to try to make it on my own. So with the job I plan on getting hopefully within the next few weeks, I will be putting away cash into savings for an apartment for my boys & I. I know Nathan and I can work things out no problem. I have thought a lot tonight about it and has questioned if it's not possible that maybe our relationship has just run its course....we know we love eachother and would do anything for eachother...but it's hard to be with eachother...at times.
I'm sorry. I have to stop now....I'll try to post more later...